To be or not to be happy,
that is the question.
Whether its nobler to be unhappy
Succumbing to the expectations of others
or stand up,
against a sea of emotions,
and change how you feel
…the choice is yours.
There was a point in time when I was always really sad, I had moved high schools and I felt completely alone…especially since it was my senior year.
I used to say that it was the fault of my parents or my old friends but really it was only mine. This is because I had allowed myself to let unhappiness and depression rule my life. I eventually got over my unhappiness and ended up having a pretty good senior year.
In my first year in college I was very homesick, and I was experiencing things I had never experienced before. I had never really been a boy crazy type of girl in high school but in college that all changed. I’m not one to easily give away my trust but I did and it was quickly broken.
I was unhappy all of the time, I thought I was depressed, and I thought part of the reason was because I never saw a counselor when my parents were going through a divorce, when they both remarried, when I went through the stress of switching school and losing friends.
I had known people who went through counseling for similar issues and so I thought that was what I needed to do. So I used my college’s counseling services. After one day of counseling I was ready to stop, I came in the next day, talked with the counselor and she told me that I seemed much better.
You see somehow during thy first counseling session I realized that A) I hate counseling, B) I was making my problems bigger than they were, and C) I was constantly digging up the past and as a result was not allowing myself to heal. I was unhappy because that’s what others expected me to be, because whenever I was happy people thought I was faking it so I naturally assumed that I was.
Now I know the truth: happiness is a state of mind. I don’t have amazing days every day, I’m fact most days my day is quite ordinary. Sometimes people ask me how I’m so calm, or how I can always find a way to make everything funny.
Well here is my golden secret:
I wake up every morning and choose to be happy, I choose to not get upset at the little things in life, and I choose to remain calm when all hell breaks loose.
It might not be easy to do but it is simple. All you have to do is stop accepting the emotions that other expect you to feel and start feeling how you want to feel, whenever you want to feel it. There’s nothing wrong with a good cry, in fact I’d say it’s a great thing, but there is something wrong with always feeling like you have to feel that way. So the next time you start to feel unhappy make sure that you are unhappy because you choose to be, not because others want you to be.
As always I am now and will always be…